If Baba Planned His Own Farewell Party

He would have planned ahead. Like he always did. He would have retrieved his hardbound notebook and made a guest list first. His ball pen leaving tiny blobs of ink on the paper as he wrote. Baba was all about plans and schedules. Obviously, there would have been a time-table for everyone to follow. He would have prepared a meticulous menu with every food item clearly spelled out. He would have probably added puri sabzi for the main dish, with pulav, salad and raita on the side. The meals may have been heavy, but they had to be balanced. For the sweet dish, he would have sat at the dining table – shirtless in the summer heat – and made fruit cream. The sun rays would have tangled up in the gulmohar tree outside and streamed in through the windows in droves. He would have patiently peeled and chopped mangoes, apples and grapes, getting them ready to be dunked in fresh cream.

He would have carefully shaved his coarse white beard with his metallic razor and would have combed the thin strip of hair at the back of his head. He would have worn a crisp off-white kurta-pajama and his ‘outside’ shoes that would have been waiting for him in his wooden shoe rack. With a white hanky placed in his pocket, his silver watch on his wrist, and his walking stick tightly clasped, (and his dependable torch for good measure) he would have been ready. Then he would have gone downstairs, and waited for his guests. He would have greeted them with his hands pressed together, and then joked with them about being old. He would have cracked the same inappropriate jokes with all our Dadis and would have joyfully boasted about the lavish life he had led, and what all his children and grandchildren were up to. Everyone would have been compelled to eat on time, and he would have insisted they take second helpings. He would have asked my father to get rasgulla or rasmalai from the sweet shop in case we ran out of fruit cream. One couldn’t be too careful.

With the house bubbling with conversations, he would have asked for everybody’s attention. He would have taken out a neatly folded piece of paper from his pocket, unfolded it, and read out a perfectly worded speech. Like the thousands of speeches he had written for his students, for his relatives, for his children, for us. He would have thanked everybody for showing up. He would have expressed his gratitude for the rich and colourful life he had led, for the abundance of experiences both good and bad. But mostly good. From family gatherings to playing Bridge with his friends. From playing poker on Diwali to travelling with his wife and kids. From sharing endless mangoes with his grandchildren to discussing politics and religion with his peers. From enjoying a quiet afternoon nap out in the sun to the joy of sitting next to an angeethi on a winter night. 

Of course, he wouldn’t have gone into the details. He wouldn’t have spelled it all out. He wouldn’t have become emotional. He liked to keep everything precise – including his phone calls that never lasted for more than two minutes. He would have told everyone not to mourn. He would have told them all to celebrate this occasion. He would have asked them to think about his life and if possible, draw inspiration from it. “Humein dekho,” he would have said. “Hum kitne thaath se rahe. Aur dekho, hum ja rahe hain, to wo bhi kitne thaath se.” (Look at me, I lived with such grandeur. And I’m leaving the same way.)

He would have then smiled, had his fair share of rasmalai, said his goodbyes with his hands pressed and his head slightly bowed out of respect. At the end of it all, he would have opened the gate and then locked it, before finally turning to see if it was clasped properly. He would have turned around and asked us to go back inside and make sure the lights and the fans were switched off and that no food was being wasted. And then, slowly, he would have walked into oblivion, his walking stick, his silver watch, his hanky, and his torch still on his person.

My grandfather would have made sure the day was perfect. Just like he liked it. As for all of us, we would have just shaken our heads with awe and amusement. Rest well, Baba. So long, and thank you for everything.

14 responses to “If Baba Planned His Own Farewell Party”

  1. Amar Prakash Avatar
    Amar Prakash

    I am surprised . How can my little.girl be so observant and can explain my father’s personality so well. I cried reading this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Astha Avatar

      Because I have your genes, Papa 🙂

      Like

  2. Meera varma Avatar
    Meera varma

    Chinki, like all your work, this also shows the tiny details of your observant nature and how wonderfully you can convert those observations into sentences strewn with beautiful words and even more beautiful expressions.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Astha Avatar

      Thanks, Maami. Baba was one of the first few people who encouraged me to be a better writer 🙂

      Like

  3. Sharad Seth Avatar
    Sharad Seth

    God bless you. The best goodby write-up I have ever read. The sentiment and emotion in every sentence is so palpable. Straight from the heart. Your Baba must have been very proud of you. He will always shower his blessings from wherever He is.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Astha Avatar

      Thanks, Sharad uncle. We have been extremely lucky to have spent so many years living with them. Couldn’t have asked for a better childhood 🙂

      Like

  4. Poonam Gaur Avatar
    Poonam Gaur

    Astha…Ur good bye words are so well expressed..No words for you.we haven’t met but you are blessed with vocabulary n expression
    Ur dad n bade papa..Even bua..Were all a part of family till in soami nagar..
    Uncle was a loving person n very caring….He felt happy dat I’m at azamgarh so near ballia. Shall always miss him

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Astha Avatar

      Thanks, aunty. It still doesn’t feel like he’s gone. He continues to glow deep inside all of us. Such was his effect.

      Like

  5. Rajul Prakash Avatar
    Rajul Prakash

    Tears rolled down my cheeks while reading…… Each and every word describes so close to what cud have really happened if it was possible…. A great planner and executor he was… Feel so blessed to be by his side in his last days. Will miss him always 😦

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Astha Avatar

      Thanks, Taiji. I actually pictured him doing all of this when I wrote it and felt a rush of pride and sorrow at the same time.

      Like

  6. Garima Avatar
    Garima

    How beautifully you pick every word, put your feelings, thoughts, memories and observations in them. You just stirred all emotions and made me cry as well. Baba will always be in our hearts xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Astha Avatar

      Thanks, Priya di. I don’t think any of us can ever forget the magnanimity of his personality.

      Like

  7. seemaunlimited Avatar
    seemaunlimited

    Sahai Sahaeb, as my maternal grandfather referred to him, was my uncle’s wife’s father. He lived and taught in Dayalbagh,a small but tight enclave of the Radhasoami faith followers. Dayalbagh has a splendid University called DEI, in which Sahai Saheb taught post graduate courses. But I saw him from a child’s eye. Saw him as a man full of sombre gravitas, seriousness of purpose and consistent nature. His grandson would tell me how he pressed all his children & others to excel in academics and other pursuits as well. It struck me, even when I was a teenager,that this gentle but prodding style, pushed all around him,to do better & better. This worked, for all his children and grandchildren are accomplished in their own fields. He was a man you looked up to, respected and were in awe of . His wife was the same, gentle but firm, and very classy. It was good to know them both, the world is poorer without them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Astha Avatar

      Everyone called him “Sahai Saheb”. The words still ring so painfully clear and true in my heart. I’m so glad you knew him and my grandmother. Your comment made me so happy and proud to know I was part of this wonderful family. I feel so grateful. Thanks a lot 🙂

      Like

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I’m Astha

Welcome to my blog. I use this space as a pensieve: a place to store my memories and feelings. It’s a rest house. An easy chair. A watering hole for the soul. I’m glad you’re here. Take a look around, make yourself at home ☕

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