Hi from a dreamy summer

I’m tucked in the strange, snug, soporific space between two jobs.

I’m aware of how short-lived it is, and it’s this very awareness that’s making this time so sweet for me. Like concentrated limoncello. And man, I’m enjoying it.

Watched a beautiful movie called Three of Us that put me in a joyful dream-like state. It made me want to hold on tight to all the magical moments I casually see in my everyday life. That’s why ever so often I find myself frantically documenting my life.

By the way, India looks heartbreakingly dreamy in the movie. The Konkan region in Maharashtra to be exact. The lush, tropical greenery that seems to hug everything makes me miss the monsoon season in Pune when everything sprang to life and turned mossy green. I could smell it through the screen.

The last few months have been pretty eventful. I had the best Amsterdam experience with a close friend, we attended concerts, went to biergartens, cycled around Utrecht, saw tulips in colours so vivid I couldn’t believe it, had a party to celebrate 3 years in Berlin, hosted my sister’s family, bonded with my niece, and drove through the majestic Austrian alps. (What is this life? How is it mine?)

I wrote sappy love notes to my colleagues before saying goodbye, sobbed as I saw my Slack getting deactivated and just thanked my stars for giving me a workplace that is worth crying for. My colleagues’ messages to me made me choke up. I genuinely loved working there, and it’s something not many people get to say.

I’m still missing it. My muscle memory still wants to meander around in familiar Slack channels, show up for my morning huddles, catch up with colleagues, and go about my day as usual. There’s so much comfort in that. And I’ll never take that for granted.

Then there’s also the spark and excitement of starting something new. Getting a chance to do more, to do better, to start afresh. I guess I was ready to move on, but that doesn’t make goodbyes suck any less.

I’m also welcoming all the new love that’s coming my way. The compliments, the thoughtfulness, the gushes of affection. I don’t question it anymore. And I’d like to believe it’s because I love myself more now. I’m enjoying adorning myself. Trying out new pieces of jewellery, painting my nails, trying to style myself a bit. I see these as little signs of self-love. From thinking of myself as a sack of potatoes to a person who deserves every bit of love she’s getting, I’ve come a long way.

And there’s this new thing that I’m beginning to like. Quite a few people in my life have started saying a quick “love you” at the end of phone calls. The first couple of times it happened I was taken aback. It’s not something that I’ve said to people outside of romantic relationships. But now it’s becoming normal. They say it, and I just say it back. It’s so cute.

Amidst all of this, I have also been heavily introspecting. I have this newfound clarity that I’ve never had before. I know who I am, what my values are, and what I stand for.

You really can’t define a person in a sentence but if I had to cram it all in, I’d call myself a liberal existential capi-socio atheist humanist critical empath. That about sums it up 😀

Summer is quickly slipping by and I’m doing everything possible to go outside more. Berlin is filled with the most gorgeous trees that I can never tire of. Also, I’ve joined a weekly choir class that I’m quite excited about. But we’ll see how it goes.

For now, I’ll just exist in this cryogenic state of lull until I start my new job. Which is tomorrow. Gulp. I’ll be back soon!

Love you ❤️