Butterflies and Hurricanes

There’s always this one moment when you move to a new city. You know the one I’m talking about? The moment that says “You’re one of us now. Make yourselves at home.” That happened to me yesterday. I’ll just get to it in a moment. 

We had plans of moving to Hyderabad in March 2020. But of course, the gift of the ‘rona derailed our plans for a whole year. This February though, we finally did it. We made the move when the cases were going down, stayed in a hotel, found a nice place for ourselves, bought furniture from IKEA, visited friends and family, unpacked, and set the house up. Amid the frenzy of moving and the flurry of constant activity, you don’t take a moment to realise that you have, in fact, moved to a whole new place. Initially, there are teething problems. You aren’t used to the new bed and you stub your toe a few times. The light switches are confusing. You miss the familiarity of your old home. The water feels different. It’s too much for your senses. But then one day, almost all of a sudden, you’re used to it. You’re opening drawers in the kitchen knowing exactly where the tongs are, or the knives or forks. You have a bowl to drop your keys in. You’re stepping out for walks around your block. You have a place for everything you own. Things begin to click. The place begins to come to life. You live here now.  

I hadn’t given myself a chance to absorb our move until yesterday. Yesterday was still. Yesterday was wholesome. We got up late, cooked leisurely, did our laundry, lazed around in bed, played a slow video game. Just like our days in Delhi, but in a city that’s softer, around people who are warmer, and in an apartment that’s dreamier. I stepped out on the balcony, placed some brown rice and water for the sparrows chirping outside, and sat at our new dining table to eat our home-cooked sambhar chawal. We all had lunch together. The sparrows and us. It was a blissful, peaceful moment of quiet happiness. I held V’s hand and told him I was happy. I smiled. He smiled. And we went on with our day.

Sometimes I feel like happiness is persistent. All pervasive. It exists around us in unassuming ways, but we don’t always have the right filter to let it in. To welcome it into our hearts and let it warm us all over. Some days, however, are full of clarity. They remind you of everything you have. Every tantalising possibility unfurls before you. Every conversation sparks joy within you. You bask in the deliciousness of the moment and let it be. You close your eyes and pray to a non-existent entity to let this moment carry on. And on. And on. 

Today’s a good day. I’m holding on to it and saving it for a rainy day. As far as I know, this city has opened its arms for me. We’re friends now. We’re safe here. And in this moment, I’d rather be here than anywhere else in the world.