Butterflies and Hurricanes

6th December, 2017 was when my much-awaited break began. Today is the 6th of May, 2018. It’s been five whole months. Tomorrow is my first day in my new office. In a way, it feels like my first working day all over again. Five magical trips, heaps of unhealthy food, countless nights spent ruminating, and a million treasured conversations later, I feel renewed. I needed those five months. I juiced those five months until the very last drop. I’m ready to go back to “regular” life. A life that all of us have to endure day after day after day. The usual grind, as they call it. G’bye, fairytale period!

It’s slightly different this time though. Well, it’s actually quite different in many ways, the most drastic of them being the fact that I’ve now moved to Gurgaon. Yes, I know. Gasp. Haw. Cue dramatic music.

I wouldn’t get into the long and uninteresting tale about how events transpired and led me here, but let’s just say it felt right. Yes, Gurgaon is hot, polluted and unsafe. No, I wasn’t done with Bangalore, or the weather, or its people. I’ve moved here knowing full well what I’ve signed up for. Lots of dust and smoke, the devastating effects of the sun, and the unease Gurgaon makes you feel on account of being, well, Gurgaon. I’ve come here with some sort of a mental zen. I’ve come here because I want to do things at work I can be proud of. I’ve come here so I could be a writer. I’ve come here so I could learn more than I’ve done before. I’ve come here because change, though scary, isn’t always so bad. I’ve also come here with zero expectations.

It would be incredible if I manage to strike a balance between good work, meaningful friendships, a healthy social life, and ample amount of personal time, but I wouldn’t count on it. It’s okay if everything isn’t perfect. Life doesn’t work that way. It’s coo. I’m going to make the most of what life gives me next. And I know deep, deep down in the core of my being that I’ll handle situations better this time. I’ll be careful, but not cautious. I’ll be quieter, but not reserved. I’ll observe more but still keep my guard down. I’ll listen more, and help in any way I can. I’ll be careful about who I trust, but I won’t have any force-fields around me. After all, I’m just like anybody else, trying to make some sense of a world that doesn’t seem to have any. What I do know, is that I’m going to always have an open heart and a capacity to love endlessly.

So, tomorrow is my first day of work: take two. Wish me luck!

P.S. I’ve moved into a dream of an apartment with a couple of girls who took me out for a drive and chai. I have a great feeling about this!

P.P.S. My balcony has a wonderful view of the city. If I were a smoker, I’d take long chai-sutta breaks out there. Though, really, you don’t have to be a smoker here; your lungs are getting corrupted anyway. But yay, new life! 🙂