Itโs 4 AM and itโs raining! I donโt know why people say itโs โbad weatherโ when it rains; I absolutely adore it. The morning air is chilly and refreshing. How am I awake at this hour? Do you even need to ask? I couldnโt sleep. To be fair, I did fall asleep for like an hour, which did not feel like sleep at all because I had crazy dreams about my sis getting a liposuction and me falling into a drain. I watched an episode of Scrubs and listened to Coldplay and Evanescence and sang along quietly in the darkened room. Yep, thatโs me.
I particularly like this part of the song ‘Imaginary’ by Evanescence.
“I linger in the doorway, of alarm clocks screaming, monsters screaming my name.
Let me stay, where the wind will whisper to me,
Where the raindrops as they’re falling, tell a story.”
I love Amy Lee’s sweet, angelic voice against all that heavy rock music.
There is frightening but awesomely cool thunder and lighting. It is so lovely! I can see the street light outside and the plump drops falling against it. There are fireflies hovering over it. Although how they are flying in all that rain, I fail to understand. I guess itโs one of those little mysteries in life which you donโt understand. Like how when you reach your class on time, the teacher arrives late. Or how you never have balance when you have to make a very important phone call. Or how when you desperately want something, you won’t find it. Or why Shirley is deathly afraid of my sister’s guitar. (She even peed a little when I was strumming it :P) Or why you never realize how idiotic you actually look until you watch yourself in a video. (I recently realized that when I clap I look like a sea lion flapping its fins. Only, the sea lion doesn’t look mental. I’m still trying to get over the shock and trauma)
I just said bye to my sister. Sheโs off to Bangalore. New job. New life. A fresh new start. Which makes me want to do something about my own life. I need change, and Iโve to bring that change myself. I feel very gloomy about it all for some reason; instead of being enthusiastic. I wonder why. My best friend shared an article with me which said that many times you never know why exactly you feel what you feel, and so you pin point it to something. Like if youโre grumpy, youโll feel maybe itโs because of lack of sleep, or because you had a spat with a friend, or maybe because of your medicine. But the actual reason can be far from that. There was an entire theory about it. It was ridiculously interesting! Sometimes I wish I was better off with English and Psychology as my majors. But Iโve decided not to have any kind of regrets from life. Itโs okay. Even if I made mistakes, I learnt from them.
Oh hell, Iโm just rambling, arenโt I? I guess this is just one of the I-just-feel-like-writing-because-the-weather-is-good-so-sue-me posts!
And now fireflies have begun to enter my room through some creak probably. And they wonโt let my already sleep deprived, half dead brain sleep because Iโll imagine them mutilating my body when Iโm dead to the world and into my bizarre dreamland again. Damn, I guess that is one teensy reason why itโs called bad weather.
Anyway, one last thing. I had a revelation last night. It is possible to fall in love with a person again. Over and over and over again. Even when you feel there is absolutely no way you can love someone more, lo and behold, you fall in deeper. Another mystery, eh? ๐ย
Well, such mysteries I like! Weeeeee! ๐
Leave a reply to Anonymous Cancel reply